


Platform wars

by huntingosprey



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-21
Updated: 2012-05-21
Packaged: 2017-11-05 18:58:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huntingosprey/pseuds/huntingosprey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone's very, very bored on the Nemesis, and they have paint.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Platform wars

**Author's Note:**

> These reference pages might help here:  
> [ HTTP staus codes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_HTTP_status_codes)  
> [The coffe pot control language](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTCPCP)

Prime collapsed backwards against the rock face, struggling to draw air into his vents as coolant dripped down his face. His vocaliser hissed static as he tried to form coherent words in answer to Prowl’s frantic radio messages.

Megatron and Starscream glowered at him from a very short distance, two sets of weapons pointing at his spark, murder in their optics. He tried frantically to draw a bead on the two Decepticons but his motor controls were unequal to the task. 

Megatron powered up his canon its end aimed dead on Prime’s spark and growled, “Primus help me, stop laughing or I’ll blast you into the matrix.”

Prime muted his vocalizer and quivered silently in a heap at the foot of the cliff, the sight in front of him doing what thousands of battles and desperate last ditched stands had failed to do, rendering him helpless in the face of his enemy.

Starscream snapped his head up and resumed scanning the sky intently null rays powered up and tracking every movement that caught his optics, muttering softly about what he was going to do to that ‘half bit, over clocked, kludge pile of a half caste whirligig’

Even Megatron didn’t appear that bothered with Prime now he’d gone silent, turning his back on the Autobot leader and glaring out into the desert. Such a tactical opportunity didn’t present itself every breem and Prime knew that Prowl would blow his battle computer trying to figure out why he hadn’t taken full advantage of it, but the simple fact was that Megatron’s broad back was the perfect display area for his new paintjob.

The blue wasn’t that different from his old battle grey, although the shading between darker and lighter hues must have given the artist a few bad moments. Overall, the Decepticon leader had gotten away rather lightly, with just a few large letter e’s with a thin gold strip across the face of the letter dotted over his armour.

Certainly, he’d fared better than his air commander had; the once red and white seeker was now a lime green which shaded away into black around his feet. Clashing rather violently with this background were a number of blue earths each one with a yellow orange fox wrapped around the bottom of it.

Prime was very glad that Jazz’s ‘earth culture and tech 101’ had included a paragraph on the so called ‘browser wars’ because knowing what you were looking at made the sight of an IE branded Warlord and a flying Firefox advert glaring death at each other across the desert much more amusing than it would otherwise have been.

“Where is he?” Megatron snarled 

“How should I know,” Starscream snapped back “apparently even your pet psychic crawler can’t find him.”

Prime couldn’t help but mutter “You’ve got a 404 error then.” just loud enough to be heard by the other two.

Starscream rounded on the Autobot leader both null rays powered up to full and shot back “If you don’t shut up autoscum you’re going to be a 410 error.”

“Or a 301 http:\www.thematrix.primus” Megatron sneered.

“Oh go execute a 418.” Prime tossed back as he staggered to his feet.

Both Decepticons looked back uncomprehendingly, before returning to their apparently pointless sky search.

Prime wobbled over to Megatron and asked quietly enough that only he could hear “Skywarp?”

The Decepticon leader nodded sharply and whispered back “It’s been to quiet recently and he has a low boredom threshold.”

Prime made a sympathetic noise and murmured “If it helps the twins need to blow off some steam by beating the slag out of someone, I’m sure we could arrange an ‘accidental’ meeting.”

“I’ll let you know the time and place.” Megatron muttered as a large shadow fell over them.

Spinning round Optimus Prime was again reduced to a quivering wreck at the sight of Skywarp’s crowning achievement. The mech was now all white, a shocking change from his usual colour scheme with a large red G painted on the left side of his chest. A single large yellow circle and an orbital view of Cybertron formed a double o, another red g following them. Finishing off the logo was an L made by a representation of the mech in his alt mode and the letter e.

Dimly Prime could hear Starscream snickering as Shockwave formally saluted his leader and asked, in a rather plaintive tone “Lord Megatron I request and explanation for the change in faction symbols.”


End file.
